The Origin of Bill
Bill Roundy was raised by wolves in the Great Suburban Outback of Virginia. Using the power of his enormous brain to observe humans and learn their speech, Bill insinuated himself into a family of traveling circus folk and travelled the globe for many years.

Upon his return to the United States in 1990, Bill attended Park View High School, where he became Lord of the Drama Geeks (as pictured at right).

Bill then made his way to James Madison University, where he spent five years battling the corrupt administration and the entrenched evil of Fraternity Row. It was here that Bill discovered that he was superhumanly attractive to men - though his abilities only seem to work on straight men, strangely enough. Bill and a victim of his powers are pictured below.

After college, Bill bummed around the country having adventures, eventually settling in Athens, Georgia, where he worked a wide variety of crappy jobs, which included washing dishes, making sandwiches, tending bar, and grading term papers for the University of Georgia. A freak lab accident then caused both of Bill's roommates to evaporate, along with their share of the rent, and Bill was forced to flee back to Virginia and lick his financial wounds.

Bill was soon enslaved by the Starbucks corporation, and he was forced to schlep coffe for yuppie drones 14 hours a day. It was during this time that he developed his crippling addiction to caffeine, and gained coffee knowledge beyond that of mortal men.

Finally breaking free from Starbucks, Bill took a positon as a lowly editorial assistant at the Washington Blade newspaper, a weekly gay newspaper. Though he tried to pass himself off as a mild-mannered journalist, Bill's genius could not be hidden for long, and he quickly rose through the ranks, eventually becoming Arts Editor of their sister paper, the New York Blade, and he moved to the Big City.

Alas, the Blade was purchased by yet another evil corporation, and Bill was laid off. Fortunately, this has freed him to concentrate full-time on his writing, and to spreading the power of the Bill Roundy Fan Club.

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